“Yeah, my mom watches a lot of TikTok and so do I,” I heard the words coming out of my five-year-old's mouth and into the ears of my mother and I cringed a little bit.
But she’s not wrong, I do watch a lot of TikTok. I also spend a lot of time on Instagram. So much so that my five-year-old continues to comment on it—multiple times a week.
“You spend a lot of time on your phone.”
“Did you know that it’s not good for your brain to spend so much time looking at a screen?” (yes, she said that to me probably because I’ve said that out loud before)
“Mom, you have a bad habit.”
Oof.
All of the things she’s said to me in the past few months are all true. They are also all things that I’ve thought about all on my own. She knows it’s a bad habit because I’ve told her that my phone use is a bad habit and she sees that I’m not changing. But I want to change. I want to do it (social media) differently.
At some point in the future, I hope to sign off for good, but that time is not yet. I’ve got a book coming out in a couple of months and another slotted for July. I have commitments to other people, so I need to be online, at least for a little bit. But, I am already thinking about ways to decrease my social media use and let it go for good.
Why?
Maybe you aren’t like me and can be active online without getting distracted and feeling hundreds of different emotions in a single day. But the truth is, I don’t think I can handle it. I didn’t start thinking about it until I read this post by
about her leaving social media, and since then the words have rattled around in my brain.I can’t handle being on social media, so I need to figure out a way to gracefully step away while also having a space for my readers to go so that they can find my new books when I publish them because that is still something I would like to be doing.
I keep going back and forth on this too. Should I or should I not? And when I sit down to think about it, the pros of leaving outweigh the pros of staying.
Pros for staying:
I can connect with my readers online in a more casual way.
Talking about my books several times a week often means more sales and Kindle Unlimited page reads
I get to chat with my online friends who live in other places.
But each of those things can be found somewhere else:
I can connect with readers here on Substack. Sure, there aren’t as many people here (yet), but I don’t feel the same anxiety here as I do on IG and TT
I’m learning more about ads and how to get my books out to more people. Plus, for so many years authors haven’t had social media and people still read their books. It’s only a newer thing.
I can get the phone numbers of my closest friends or emails so that we can keep in touch.
Pros for leaving:
I’m happier, less stressed, and overall, more content with life.
I can hear myself think, I have time to think.
I have time to do all the things that I want to do.
My daughter and I can spend real time together, without me getting distracted by my phone or annoyed when I’m interrupted from my scrolling (by anyone)
I like how I feel when I’m not constantly on social media.
So while I truly do want to leave, like I mentioned before, I’m going to be taking steps to step away from social media. The first and biggest step is only being online on Mondays and Thursdays and deleting the apps off of my phone the rest of the time. This is something I’ve tried in the past, but I stopped doing it after a long break last summer. I’m starting once again.
Another thing I am hoping to implement is that when I am online, I want to comment and interact with other people. I feel as though on Instagram, we have all continued to share share share but stopped interacting (at least this has been my experience) so, I’d like to leave more thoughtful comments on my friend's posts rather than just a quick like.
And, as I work toward leaving, I’ll be writing more long-form posts here on Substack. Each month, I send out an author update with book news and writing progress which you can read here. On this Substack, I am planning to share more about my journey as I leave behind social media (sharing will help keep me accountable, since I’ve been thinking about it for years but haven’t taken the leap yet) along with essays about life, motherhood, homeschooling, and creating through it all.
I’ve started a handful of posts about this topic, maybe I’ll share them at some point or maybe they were simply the words I needed to help get me here. All I know is that my self-control when it comes to social media is low and that my daughter is noticing, which means it’s a bigger problem than I originally realized. Which means it’s time for a change, a real one.
So it’s time to go, or at least, it’s time to start the leaving process and start using social media less and find other ways to connect with readers and share my words with the world. I’m truly looking forward to this experiment (of only being online 2 days a week) and stepping away—completely—in the future.
Tell me, how is your relationship with social media? Do you have any limits that work for you or have you stepped away altogether?
I was also only using IG sparingly. Then I caved and started logging on more. It's hard. I don't want to get rid of it and I don't plan to, but I wish I had more self control when I do use it. I'm working on it. I don't want it to be my go-to, my boredom fix, or my first click on my phone.
I am right there with you on the whoooole topic of social media. I'm still trying to figure out if there's a better-for-me way to use it, or if I should slowly back away from it . . . for good.